Quick Comebacks

I am reading a book called Double Duty that is a somewhat humorous guide to raising twins.

Quick Comebacks to Annoying Questions and Comments:

1. Comment: "Twins? I'm sure glad they're yours and not mine!"
Comeback: "Me Too!"

2. Question: "Twins? How do you tell them apart?"
Answer: "I look."

3. Question: "Twins? God bless you!"
Answer: "He did. Twice."

4. Question: "Are they twins?"
    Answer: "No. He's an only child. Who's your eye doctor?"